Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize