I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
