only if we run a train.
done.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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