If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
