I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
