Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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