I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize