Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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