I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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