You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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