They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How's work?
Spinning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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