That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
