hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
