in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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