were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have fence marks all over my body
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
