I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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