just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
