oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
