a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
