Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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