I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize