So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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