i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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