just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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