Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
