she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
