her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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