There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
