have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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