He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
