i already hear my dad disowning me
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize