I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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