She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
