You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
