she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
this is an emotional support booty call
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
