he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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