I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
