I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
