oh god the rape fog is back!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
