I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
