you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
