btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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