So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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