hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
