Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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