I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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