I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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