Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
