I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is wine microwaveable?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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