Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
