and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
smell my finger.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
