Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yo dont text me then not text me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize