I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
