thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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