You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize