My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
