Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
