Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
