Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
