So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize