Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
