It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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