i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
