If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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