my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
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