kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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