literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
