so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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