a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize