Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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