You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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