i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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